The Problem
The Finish of an Period Half 2
Season 40
Episode 19
Editor’s Score
2 stars
**
Photograph: MTV
We meet again up with our challengers proper the place we left them, counting cash within the dank depths of the Sinister as their psyches splinter and their muscle tissue spasm. Jenny, within the midst of a Hulk Smash meltdown, provides up on the duty round 1 a.m., throwing the remainder of the cash into her assortment field with homosexual abandon. She will get to sleep on the chilly, metallic ground, lulled to sleep by the remainder of the forged moan-chanting the “Present me the best way to go house” shanty.
Just a few hours later, as everybody else is wrapping up the sport in earnest, Tori nonetheless has an excellent half of her bag left. To get some sleep and protect her sanity, she in all probability ought to have simply made an informed guess, however she’s feeling the stress after her sub-optimal efficiency within the first day’s checkpoints and commits to the bit like an ASSSSCAT performer once they hear a WME agent’s son is within the viewers. Singing alone at 4 a.m., she goes as far as so as to add some stylish vibrato trills — how about some Karma Factors for that, since we’re deciding who wins this Ultimate primarily based on meaningless knowledge?
Within the morning, T.J. wakes the forged in a putting black button-down that was positively one in all his go-to first-date shirts again within the day. He’s right here with the outcomes of their struggling. It seems that Tori stayed up all night time simply to come back in useless final, overcounting her cash by nearly a thousand. Bananas joins her in fourth place, and with Derek’s first-place win, he has zero room for error if he needs to take again the second-place place.
Checkpoint IV Outcomes: 1st Place, Derek and Rachel; 2nd Place, Jordan and Michele; third Place, Kyland and Jenny; 4th Place, Bananas and Tori.
The primary checkpoint of day two is known as “Submerging Terror,” a.ok.a. the tagline for a brand new Blumhouse movie a couple of zombie virus that breaks out on a army submarine. Wait, I might watch the hell out of that. Am I a genius?
The gamers should swim out to a second location, seize a paddle, and swim to a big raft. Deep beneath the raft are crates that maintain the keys they should unlock the boats, which is able to take them again to the Sinister. Apparently, yesterday’s grind had minimal influence on Jordan’s physique as a result of he effortlessly tears by means of the swim as soon as once more just like the lovechild of a person and Lola, the sultry Angelina Jolie fish from Shark Story.
He tries to catch his breath as soon as he makes it to the raft, which provides his rivals an opportunity to catch up. Although he’s nonetheless the primary to unlock his boat, he’s nervous that Bananas or Derek might use this second to their benefit because it’s rather more tough to row successfully with one hand. However they don’t, and Jordan’s “Operation: Keep away from The Karma Vote” barrels forward.
Michele blows an early lead making an attempt to retrieve her key, and he or she’s so depleted from the swim that she’s unable to hoist herself from the water onto the raft. She might need been there perpetually if it wasn’t for Kyland, who lets her climb his physique to rise up. Kyland is a humble, good sport about his irrelevance on this stage of the sport and posits that “there’s no coaching that compensates for expertise.” Positive, however some swim classes couldn’t have harm.
Checkpoint V Outcomes: 1st Place, Jordan and Jenny; 2nd Place, Derek and Tori; third Place, Bananas and Rachel; 4th Place, Kyland and Michele.
Subsequent, the gamers transfer on to “Mathematical Leisure,” the place they clear up a grade faculty math equation on a sandbar whereas ingesting coconut water. Primarily based on the order during which they arrive on the sandbar, two gamers sit head-to-head and shout the reply to one thing like 10 – 8 + 2. Whoever delivers the right reply first will get to swim again to the Sinister, whereas the loser should proceed with matchups till they get a win. The final particular person left on the sandbar has to attend to begin their return till the one who beat them makes contact with Sinister, which is basically a assured last-place end except somebody acquired MedEvaced.
These equations are really easy, I’m getting them proper and I finished taking math after Algebra II. They’re really easy, they don’t even want to make use of their little chalkboards. They’re really easy, Jenny beats Michele.
Michele takes L after L, like a Jeopardy! contestant who is aware of the reply however can’t determine the buzzer. Each lady passes her. She tries to make use of her female wiles to seduce Derek into letting her win, however she forgets that he’s homosexual. She lastly beats Bananas by a hair (and passes Tori and Rachel within the water), which is dangerous information for him as a result of his subsequent and remaining opponent is Kyland the Calculator.
Checkpoint VI Outcomes: 1st Place, Jordan and Jenny; 2nd Place, Derek and Michele; third Place, Kyland and Rachel; 4th Place, Bananas and Tori.
There’s yet one more checkpoint to go, however like an Olympics the place Simone Biles is Yurchenko double-piking, it’s a contest for second place. It’s referred to as “Champion’s Cove,” and the gamers will use underwater scooters to retrieve a token from a cave and zip again to the Sinister one final time. It’s an anticlimactic finale. It really seems to be enjoyable, like the kind of exercise you’ll pay to do at a Hawaiian resort. Jenny can’t determine how you can use her scooter correctly, giving Michele some leeway to safe first place and a little bit of redemption.
Checkpoint VII Outcomes: 1st Place, Jordan and Michele; 2nd Place, Bananas and Rachel; third Place, Derek and Tori; 4th Place, Kyland and Jenny.
The finalists hug it out. The expertise was past depressing, however they created a reminiscence and a few lifelong trauma bonds. T.J. lastly reveals the scoring course of and the way these wretched Karma Votes think about. Every checkpoint was price a most of 4 factors relying on the place you positioned, and the Karma Vote was price two checkpoints for a most of eight bonus factors on prime of your whole.
He begins with the fellows’ scores, which weren’t impacted by Girl Luck. Jordan wins (I’d like to offer myself brag factors for calling this in my recap six weeks in the past), Derek formally disposes of his layup identify by coming in second, Grandpa Bananas saves himself whole embarrassment with a bronze, and candy child Kyland is simply blissful he didn’t drown.
For the ladies, however, it’s about to get “gnarly.” The Karma Votes have an unlucky stranglehold on these standings, except for Tori, who was destined to lose on her personal accord. The precise outcomes would have been Jenny (22 factors), Michele (19 factors), and Rachel (16 factors), however since Jenny had minimal relationships coming into this season (she’s solely performed twice earlier than) and Rachel had many, Rachel’s eight Karma Factors catapulted her two locations into a very unearned tie for first with Jenny. Michele, who beat Rachel soundly, is collateral injury, demoted to 3rd place (and, notably, one level away from a three-way first-place tie).
It’s such an uncomfortable method to finish the season. Michele is so despondent, she seems to be like she simply walked in on Devin sucking face with Olivia. And the way can it even really feel good to “beat” somebody primarily based on bullshit? Derek states it instantly, explaining that he’s so relieved that he bested Bananas resulting from his efficiency, not as a result of he did drag exhibits and baked birthday truffles. Who needs a win with an asterisk? I hope the true winners, Jordan and Jenny, use this prize cash to observe their goals. Jordan, to change into an F1 racer, and Jenny, to fund and star within the live-action remake of Wreck It Ralph.
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