“I’ve a no-bad-meals coverage,” says comic and Middlebrow co-host Dan Rosen. “If I’ve had a nasty meal, it haunts me for the remainder of the day. It’s a really dumb and costly rule, nevertheless it’s one thing to sit up for. Perhaps the one factor to sit up for.” This summer season, Rosen is splitting his time between co-writing a rom-com along with his brother (and slowly destroying their relationship within the course of), recording his tradition podcast in borrowed design showrooms, and operating between stand-up units on the Comedy Cellar. A lifelong uptowner — he grew up in Yorkville and went to highschool with Zohran Mamdani — Rosen now eats most of his meals downtown, whether or not it’s at Dimes (which he insists is unfairly maligned) or S&P. Nonetheless, he managed to sneak in some particular meals outdoors the congestion-pricing zone: dinner at Le Veau d’Or, Al Badawi takeout along with his dad and mom, and late-night chocolate cake at Café Sabarsky.
Wednesday, August 13
I normally begin my day with a big iced chilly brew at Birch by my residence. Within the winter, I make my very own espresso, however I don’t do properly with scorching drinks, so for now I spend $6 twice a day. I don’t actually eat something earlier than midday, in all probability due to some half-thought-out try at intermittent fasting I attempted a couple of years in the past and by no means grew out of. If I’m understanding, I’ll seize a banana or half an avocado. I get biweekly deliveries of avocados from Da Avocado Man, which feels like one thing that ought to ship me to the gulag however finally ends up being cheaper than the grocery retailer. These are essentially the most buttery, platonic-ideal avocados; they by no means appear to show.
My brother and I are engaged on a script, which goes a lot slower than both of us anticipated. A part of the rationale it has taken so lengthy is that we yell at one another over insignificant grammatical particulars and find yourself preoccupied with what to eat and which espresso store we should always stroll to for our subsequent burst. If we find yourself at a Sweetgreen, the day is actually a failure.
After a couple of hours of writing in my residence, we head to lunch at Poulet Sans Tête, one of many few first rate eating places on the Higher West Facet. They’ve an incredible combo particular: the juiciest rotisserie rooster with veggie sides. We fastidiously break up our collective 4 sides, to the purpose of counting the variety of Brussels sprouts every of us receives. That is psychotic and embarrassing habits, nevertheless it’s what occurs once you develop up with 4 ravenous brothers. I’ve a Food regimen Coke, too.
Again dwelling, I reply some emails and snack on berries and a Spindrift. I forgot to cancel my Spindrift subscription after I was away engaged on a film in July, so our family has an immense backlog. It’s no downside — I can drink a dozen a day. No different seltzer even comes shut. When you shut your eyes, it’s virtually like consuming soda.
It begins to pour, however the rain stops simply in time for me to bike via Central Park to the Higher East Facet for a late dinner with my pal and antiques extraordinaire Michael Diaz-Griffith. He’s fairly stylish, so it’s becoming that we find yourself at Le Veau d’Or, which I’d been making an attempt and failing to get into because it opened. With the clientele largely within the Hamptons or wherever throughout the summer season, we had higher luck.
It’s nice to meet up with Michael. We spend a great chunk of the meal dissecting what went flawed with And Simply Like That …, though we additionally discuss much less vital issues.
Whereas the prix-fixe price ticket nonetheless appears absurd to me, Le Veau d’Or lives as much as my expectations. We share a pickled-artichoke dish and a tomato salad. Michael is gluten-free, so I graciously eat all of the croutons. For the principle programs, I’ve a scrumptious buttery white-wine rooster with chanterelle mushrooms, adopted by a inexperienced salad, which I do know is conventional, however I nonetheless don’t perceive it. For dessert, there’s a chocolate ganache in addition to some complimentary little beignet-type issues.
I journey a Citi Bike dwelling via Central Park. Biking late at evening via the park with music blasting is among the many prime New York emotions. It’s completely abandoned; you’re flying, in your personal little film, blasting Jamie XX.
Thursday, August 14
My brother got here uptown yesterday, so right this moment I’ve to go meet him downtown as we proceed to hack away at our script. We meet on the very vibe-y Mandarin in Two Bridges, which has a millennial-brutalist aesthetic I’m ambivalent about. It’s arduous to discover a espresso store that (a) permits laptops, (b) is nice to sit down and work in, and (c) has first rate espresso. In the present day, we sit by a full-grown grownup drawing with crayons and a girl taking a really loud Zoom assembly. However the espresso is nice.
We head to Dimes for lunch; we find yourself right here at the very least as soon as every week. New York shouldn’t be missing for a lot of issues, however one factor L.A. does have is the power to eat a healthy-ish lunch that feels recent and isn’t only a fast-casual, laptop-job slop bowl. I get the summer season salad with grilled rooster. I feel Dimes is very nice. It’s unfair that they’ve turn out to be a logo of one thing approach past them, with the H&M shirt and all that — it’s a number of weight for a salad place.
I beloved to work at Gem Dwelling again when it first opened. It had this good Copenhagen vibe with lengthy tables within the again. However then folks handled it like WeWork, and the proprietor obtained sick of it and made it desk service. An excessive amount of of a great factor — we ruined it. It didn’t final lengthy, however I nonetheless go every now and then. They’ve obtained a pleasant curation of berries that price $2,000 a pint and really beautiful silverware. I get a espresso and a raspberry tart.
As a result of I host a tradition podcast, I’m all the time loading up my calendar so I’ve stuff to speak about. Tonight, I’m going with a gaggle of pals (together with Brian Park, my co-host) to a Mets-Braves recreation. I’ve been a beaten-down Mets fan my complete life, and at this level, I’m equally excited by the pregame dim sum in Flushing.
Going from Dimes to Flushing in the identical day jogs my memory how huge the spectrum of consuming in New York will be. Each time I’m going to Flushing, I’m reminded that though I used to be born and raised right here, I do know solely an infinitesimal a part of this metropolis and its distinct neighborhoods. We meet at Asian Jewels, an infinite banquet corridor with strong meals and a monstrously massive curved display screen within the again that cycles via AI pictures of fantastical landscapes that are supposed to be calming however to me are a tad dystopian. I’ve a shrimp allergy of unsure severity; I carry an EpiPen simply in case. This provides slightly pleasure and hazard to each meal, significantly when the workers doesn’t communicate sufficient English for me to clarify. I survive.
The Mets recreation is enjoyable, though, as a result of I ate, I don’t get to wander the stadium for an hour deciding which junk meals I deserve for going all the best way to Flushing to have my coronary heart damaged. I nonetheless find yourself getting a field of Cracker Jack and a Coke Zero and take some aggressively massive bites out of my spouse’s Mister Softee in a novelty-cup smooth serve. She is displeased. The Mets lose.
Friday, August 15
The script continues. In the present day we meet at Fairfax within the West Village, which is fairly empty all morning so we are able to sit on the bar and write with out being bothered. I as soon as noticed Malcolm Gladwell working on the bar right here throughout the day, and perhaps that’s what impressed me to do the identical. I’ve an iced espresso and a few cheesy-barley-zucchini-porridge-egg factor.
It’s scorching. Our subsequent cease on our absurd tour of New York espresso outlets is La Colombe in Hudson Sq.. This neighborhood has spawned a powerful array of soulless company eating places, and this La Colombe seems like an airport lounge, however there’s AC. I feel I went on a primary date right here with my ex. Rising up in New York means being haunted by your courting historical past at each flip. There’s one thing deeply embarrassing about working in your screenplay in public. In L.A., it’s ubiquitous, however in New York, folks have extra disgrace.
I head to Tribeca to document the podcast with Brian. That is our anniversary, and I feel Brian has lastly forgiven me for asking him to start out a podcast. We don’t have a everlasting house but, so we hop round; right this moment, we’re recording within the Audo design showroom. There’s gentle building happening within the entrance, and I’m too ashamed to attempt to clarify in damaged Spanish to the development employee that we try to document a podcast, so we simply wait till he’s accomplished. We’re all the time recording in a distinct design showroom. Our visitors are all the time like, “What is that this place? The place the hell am I?”
Brian drops me off on the Comedy Cellar, the place I’ve a spot. I’ve been handed right here — which means I’ve a daily spot — for a 12 months and a half, and it’s nonetheless pretty surreal that I get to do the factor that was my life purpose for ten years. Getting handed on the Cellar was one of many craziest days ever. I used to be instructed to be there at 7:15 — I obtained there at 7:13 — after which they mentioned, “Okay, you’re on in two minutes.” The booker shepherded me downstairs. She’s watching, and I’m insanely nervous. I did my 5 minutes, got here off. She introduced me upstairs and mentioned, “Okay, we’re gonna give it a shot.” That was it. I checked out my watch: 7:23. The entire thing took 13 minutes.
I’m a bit early right this moment, which is nice as a result of I can work out this new bit and attempt to keep in mind my act since I haven’t carried out in over a month. In stand-up, not performing for a couple of days seems like ranging from scratch, so with a month off, I’m fairly nervous. Friday can also be the evening Estee, the booker, is there, so there’s all the time an opportunity she watches you, which simply provides to the stress. The set goes nice. The unique MacDougal room has some ineffable magic.
My spouse meets me on the restaurant above the Cellar, the Olive Tree Cafe, the place the meals is approach higher than it must be. I used to observe how they made the meals on the Comedian Strip in L.A., and it was fairly gnarly — assume cheese nachos with canned olives. The meals on the Cellar is actually terrific by comparability. My spouse and I break up a Greek salad and the rooster kebab platter, which is what I get each time. I wish to bike again up the West Facet Freeway, however we don’t have helmets and my spouse is a accountable individual, so we take the subway.
Saturday, August 16
My spouse and I’ve a convention: After I get the weekend paper, we sit with the journal and do the crossword each Saturday morning. We end it collectively. We get irritated if it’s too straightforward and in addition if it’s too arduous — it must be that excellent Goldilocks candy spot. Normally, it takes a couple of half-hour. I drink a Birch iced espresso whereas we do it.
We’ve been making an attempt to do Saturday-morning shabbagels with pals. It’s arduous to be common about it, however we invite folks; make a number of espresso; carry bagels, tomatoes, lox, all of that. I’m very aware about internet hosting — normally there’s by no means sufficient meals or choices, and I hate that. I by no means wish to really feel like I took the final piece of lox or onion. We now order from Pop-Up bagels, however we used to get them from Absolute, one of the best place within the neighborhood, and Zohran Mamdani’s favourite, however that closed. I really went to highschool with Zohran — I’m two years older. We had Artwork Appreciation collectively. It’s bizarre to see him on MSNBC now that he’s turn out to be a world celeb. In the meantime, I’m performing for drunk Danish vacationers.
I’m extra-aware of how shitty my residence is when we’ve visitors over. The lavatory gentle doesn’t work — it’s a must to bang the medication cupboard to show it on. You possibly can’t inform your visitors that. So I put a Louis Poulsen moveable lamp in there. It makes the lavatory look elegant; an aesthetic answer to a shitty downside. It’s virtually too darkish to see — however attractive.
In a while, we carry Al Badawi takeout to my dad and mom’ home for dinner. My dad and mom have lived in the identical one-bedroom residence for 50 years. All six of us shared it. We had bunk beds in the lounge. They solely moved into the bed room after I left for school, however they’ve all the time had extra stuff than house, simply transferring piles from room to room. My mother is a tremendous prepare dinner, however when she cooks, she’s within the kitchen 90 p.c of the time, so we inform her to not. Regardless of our insistence, she nonetheless made salad and baba ghannouj from scratch. She all the time orders far more meals than we want, however my dad is pleased with the leftovers. We get mixed-grill kebabs — rooster, lamb, steak — and a few tabbouleh.
My spouse and I stroll dwelling and go Café Sabarsky. When you cease in late at evening when it’s not crowded, you may get in for dessert. It’s one of the crucial lovely eating rooms in New York. The wooden paneling, the ornamentation. We have now espresso, chocolate cake with cherries, and a hazelnut tart. You’re instantly transported to 1900s Vienna. Generally, it’s ruined by vacationers in mint-green shorts, however nonetheless — magical.
The one factor I all the time prepare dinner is home made popcorn: a bunch of smashed garlic cloves, perhaps bay leaves or rosemary to taste the oil, then kernels and salt. We watch Soiled Dancing for the primary time. It’s approach hornier than I anticipated, and it makes me unhappy no person goes to the Catskills to have intercourse with Patrick Swayze anymore.
Sunday, August 17
I meet my spouse at S&P for brunch, one of many few locations I’ll wait on line for. It’s simply the correct amount of cheesy, run-down décor, and the meals is simple. Once they do the throwback factor, they really care — they make it slightly extra particular with out messing with a great, fundamental factor. They’re not including truffles. I hold saying I’ll strive one thing new, however I all the time get both a pastrami Reuben for lunch or the Lil’ Shonda for breakfast, which is a pastrami, egg, and cheese on rye with pickled tomatoes that give it the right tang. Love their crappy little plastic mugs, and in contrast to most diners, their espresso doesn’t style like dishwater.
In a while, I seize a espresso and a canelé at La Cabra, earlier than engaged on a script with my pal Dana. I simply obtained solid in my first characteristic movie. I’ve accomplished commercials and sketches, however that is completely different. I’m anxious. Dana is a extremely gifted actress and appearing coach, so I requested her to assist me run traces and take into consideration the character. I solely have three scenes, however I simply wish to really feel snug and never embarrass myself.
That evening, I get caught within the rain on my approach the my month-to-month present I produce with Noa Osheroff — a mixture of stand-up and brief movies. I used to be anxious about turnout because it was August and pouring. Each time I’ve a present, I feel, Why am I doing this? Nobody’s gonna come. It’s gonna be dangerous. I’ve nothing to say after I host. I hate selling. However the present is all the time enjoyable. It’s a range present, a pleasant break from a traditional comedy present. Very chill. I don’t should do a lot in addition to make the poster and submit it, and other people come out. For some purpose, I made a decision the posters must be parodies of well-known film posters. It was enjoyable for one or two. Now, each month, I’m determining how one can replicate the Exorcist font.
We do the present at Brooklyn Artwork Haus. It’s an incredible house — combined use with a great display screen, excellent for multimedia stuff. It’s proper underneath the BQE. I’ve spent years taking the subway dwelling at 1 a.m. from Brooklyn exhibits, watching every venue transfer additional east. Currently, I simply Citi Bike. It’s longer, nevertheless it feels civilized. I see components of New York I by no means would in any other case. I really like the Queensboro Bridge, using via Greenpoint at evening, coming down into the park. Means higher than ready for the practice at East Broadway at 2 a.m., questioning why I’m nonetheless doing this.
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