Southern Appeal
Fowl Play
Season 11
Episode 7
Editor’s Ranking
3 stars
***
Salley lastly sees that Craig has little interest in courting her, sending ripple results all through the pal group
Photograph: Bravo
On this episode, we get to fulfill Madison’s canine, Karen. Karen? For a canine? What’s she going to do? Name the police when you don’t give her a deal with? Then there are Austen’s two new cats: one named Martini (cat title) and the opposite named Piper (human title). What’s up with all of those folks and their pets which have folks names? Shep’s canine is famously named Craig and Venita has a canine named Charles. Fortunately, we’ve Whitner, who is aware of how one can title a canine, Bacchus, who’s rightfully named after a god and is an excellent boy. However then there’s Salley, who has a canine named Jeff. Jeff! That’s not a canine, that’s somebody who hogs the pretzels at a dive bar. What’s Salley going to call her chickens? Niki and Donna? (Should you get that pairing, you might be homosexual and middle-aged. Hey, Rodrigo.)
Ugh, Salley and her chickens. That’s actually every little thing that’s mistaken with Salley. The man she’s after says he thinks she ought to get chickens, and she or he has a flat-pack coop overnighted and is placing it collectively in her again yard like a Cracker Barrel x Ikea collaboration. On the precise second she’s doing that, Craig brings his assistant, Jack (who desires Charley lifeless in order that he can proceed to have Craig for himself), to Charley’s gallery for slightly social gathering, and in order that he can ask her out on a date to style oysters for a day. Salley is doing essentially the most, pondering she must lure a person in or make some grand gesture to maintain his consideration. If he’s , like he’s in Charley, he’ll make all the trouble.
I believe the explanation I’m so harsh on Salley about that is that I used to be Salley for therefore a few years. I by no means thought I used to be sufficient, that I at all times needed to persuade guys to love me, to indicate them that I used to be , that I might be a great accomplice and was into all the identical issues they had been even once I wasn’t. I put in all this work, they usually nonetheless all fell in love with my pal Mark. They’d ask about Mark, they’d attempt to spend time with each of us to get to Mark, and, in the meantime, I believed that I had an opportunity. I believed if I simply favored video video games, if I simply purchased all of the Kylie Minogue vinyl, if I simply bought chickens, then they’d neglect all about Mark and be in love with me. I’ll inform each Salley and her further E that it by no means labored even as soon as. (And for the document, Mark is now married, so don’t you even fucking ask me about him.)
When Salley and Craig go to pick Salley’s chickens, Linda and Naomi, issues get awkward actually shortly. Salley says, “I’m saying I’m liking you. Like I may date you.”
Whereas I respect Salley going after what she desires, Craig then tells her what all of us already knew. “I don’t see it. We’re simply pals.” Salley asks if he didn’t see it happening that path, why had been they within the sizzling tub till 4 a.m.? Craig says he thought it would go someplace, but it surely didn’t. Hmmm. Does that need to do with when a sure blonde got here on the scene? I do agree with Craig. I believe that Salley began fantasizing a couple of future along with him, one thing that he didn’t essentially need, and was increase their hanging out and their flirtation into one thing that everybody knew wasn’t going to occur. When Venita, Molly, Rodrigo, and Leva (whom I didn’t even acknowledge as a result of she wasn’t in her kitchen) meet and speak in regards to the state of affairs, they unanimously know that Craig isn’t going to go for it. I additionally know Salley was doing this as a result of, howdy, I was Salley, and a man would say hello to me on the homosexual bar, and I used to be already selecting out china patterns and sizing him for customized cock rings.
However Craig doesn’t get off scot-free. He says he thinks he wasn’t main her on. He’s proper, when she stated she had emotions, he stated they’re simply pals. However every little thing earlier than that’s suspect. Salley is correct; his texting that she ought to have stayed the night time is completely an invite to sleep along with her. Salley isn’t mistaken to suppose that Craig was giving her optimistic alerts, even when she was studying slightly bit an excessive amount of into them.
We even have to speak about how the Craig and Salley fallout is affecting everybody else, and it appears to be having an extreme quantity of impression on the group. When out at boys’ night time, Rod tells Craig that Salley thought one thing was going to occur, and he says the one motive he was hanging out with Salley was to spend time with Charley. He thinks Charley doesn’t get to be herself round him, which is why he requested her out. He says Salley at all times interrupts after they attempt to speak one-on-one. Yeah, duh, Craig. That’s as a result of Salley desires you. Madison tells us that Craig is clueless, however, I’m sorry, being clueless isn’t any excuse for being careless with folks’s emotions.
Craig is slightly little bit of a jerk about Salley when he’s speaking about her within the bar and had at the very least one Orange Crush. (Which can be the title of the REM track that I misplaced my virginity to. It was certainly one of Mark’s ex-boyfriends.) Austen says that Craig is disrespecting his friendship with Salley, which I believe Austen is delicate to as a result of he thinks that Craig is consistently disrespecting their very own friendship. Craig says the issue with Salley is that she’s a twister and she or he’s chaotic. He’s not mistaken, and evidently may need turned him off to her and onto Charley, which is a very legit response. When Austen doesn’t get enthusiastic about Craig’s date with Charley, Craig storms off, saying that he must rejoice his “wins” along with his pals. Dude, it’s one date that you just gained’t even name a date. Is it a win?
Whereas this is happening, the women are at Madison’s for a pajama social gathering and issues are equally dangerous between Venita and Salley. When Madison prompts Salley to inform the group about her dialog with Craig, Ventia places on her “I Instructed You So” hat and dances across the group, blowing on a whistle, popping off these little confetti cannons you purchase at social gathering metropolis, and lighting a sparkler to connect to a bottle of champagne and parading it round Madison’s in any other case empty front room. However she’s additionally mad that Salley didn’t name her to inform her about it. I’m sorry, however you possibly can’t have it each methods. She will’t be telling Salley to not name her when Craig dumps her after which additionally upset that she didn’t name her when Craig dumps her.
Venita says she’s not mad about it although and Salley tells Venita she has no motive to be mad. In confessional, Venita says that Salley didn’t care about her emotions, selected a man over her, and doesn’t hear her when she talks. I believe that is all correct. Similar to how the combat between Craig and Austen isn’t actually about Salley, the combat between Venita and Salley isn’t about Craig. It’s about how Salley treats Venita of their friendship and I believe Venita has wised as much as the truth that they’re not as shut as she thought they had been or at the very least their friendship is a little more conditional than she imagined. Venita then storms out relatively than speak to Salley and confront it. Poor Venita, it doesn’t matter what she does it looks as if her pals are at all times leaving her out to dry. Why can’t she simply chill with Whitner?
Essentially the most instantly impacted is Charley, who’s going out on a date with Craig. She’s anxious about how Salley goes to react when she finds out as a result of she is a pleasant particular person and a great pal, however everybody tells her to cease caring about everybody else a lot and I believe that is respectable recommendation. I imply, Mark by no means cared about how I felt when going out on dates with different folks and he’s fortunately married now and residing in Portugal with a wealthy husband and nonetheless appears 33. Fucking Mark.
The best way that everybody finds out isn’t that nice. After Craig storms out, Austen, Whitner, and Rodrigo head to Madison’s for a “panty raid” and that phrase seems like when folks say they hate the phrase moist or after they say they threw up of their mouths slightly bit. Austen tells Salley that Craig stated she was a twister who solely leaves destruction in her path and I believe that Austen is mischaracterizing each what Craig stated and the depth he stated it. He’s completely screwing Craig over on this second and shouldn’t have let his anger and the Orange Crushes cloud his judgement like that. Salley is, in fact, pissed and needs to slap Craig within the face as a result of she is a twister that leaves solely destruction in her path. Hey, Craig wasn’t mistaken to say it; Austen was simply mistaken to repeat.
When Austen is speaking about Craig and Charley, Rodrigo says, “Charley’s about to go on a date with him, so don’t scare her.” The issue is nobody is aware of this but and now Charley then has to dissemble and clarify that, whereas she did say she didn’t wish to exit with Craig, she modified her thoughts. Salley says, “Craig is manipulating the each of us and he has been all fucking summer time and I’m lastly realizing it and it’ll take her longer to understand it, however she is going to understand it.” The factor is, he’s not manipulating Charley. He’s requested her out on a date as a result of he likes her and she or he’s going. That doesn’t appear that manipulative to me. However I can see how poor Salley feels that approach. She sits throughout all of Madison’s poofs and blankets, she takes a deep glug of her wine. She’s smarting that, as soon as once more, she hasn’t been chosen, {that a} man she did every little thing for has missed her, that nobody is ever going to like her, that individuals don’t respect every little thing she does they usually simply suppose she’s an excessive amount of, too chaotic, an excessive amount of like a twister. She aches for being second, simply wanting somebody to place her in a prime spot for a change. That’s what she’s pondering as she stares throughout the room at her pal and competitors, as she loves but in addition plots the demise of Mark … I imply Charley.
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