Southern Attraction
Two Truths and a Single Man
Season 11
Episode 10
Editor’s Score
2 stars
**
Salley proves she’s the latest agent of chaos in Charleston — sacrificing chicks and torpedoing Craig’s new relationship.
Photograph: Bravo
Of all of the locations that we’ve seen the yahoos on these reveals journey, there’s none that I’ve wished to hire greater than Itchy Grass Farm, Whitney’s household retreat. The principle home is attractive, the pool is made for Instagram, and every of the cottages seems to be extra divine than the following, even those with rusty knives hanging round for decoration-slash-protection from the wild donkey spirits that certainly roam close to all these snake-infested lakes. What about Shep’s room above the barn? Improbable! And it provides a complete new that means to a “roll within the hay.” (Hopefully, there is no such thing as a hay.) Itchy Grass doesn’t seem like on Airbnb, so take into account this my official request for an invite.
As hospitable as the entire Slagsvol household is, the episode actually revolves round Austen and Salley and Craig and Charley, like some Greenback Retailer model of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. The day after Austen’s disastrous birthday dinner, the place it looks like Craig and Austen’s bromance has ruptured for good, Austen has a day wine and a cuddle along with his emotional-support cats earlier than calling Madison to debrief. He says he doesn’t care concerning the standing of his relationship with Craig anymore. Additionally, throughout this cellphone name, he tells Madison that he broke up with Audrey, however this tidbit is saved for later so the editors can save all of their ammo for when Austen tells Venita and Rodrigo on the drive to the farm.
This raises questions on your complete timeline. When precisely did he break up with Audrey? Was it after the combat at Rodrigo’s engagement celebration? Was it the day of his birthday dinner? Does that imply she bought him a birthday present that she by no means gave him as a result of he broke up together with her, and there’s a shark-tooth necklace sitting unused on her espresso desk? Or did he do it that morning after the birthday dinner? And, if he did it someday earlier than the dinner, why didn’t he carry it up and inform Craig to close it, and that he had already damaged up with Audrey. If that’s the case, it looks like a lot of Craig’s arguments about their friendship would have been totally moot. And if he did it after the dinner, did he lastly take heed to Shep and Craig and simply dump her?
That’s the one dialogue that we actually get about Austen and Craig. They trip as much as the farm in separate automobiles, keep away from one another on the farm, and keep in separate cabins, so it looks like they’re taking a while off from one another. However Rodrigo thinks they’ll finally discover their means again to at least one one other. He says, “They will’t stop one another. They’ve to return as much as Brokeback Mountain to settle scores.”
The automobile rides up are stark of their variations. Austen, Venita, and Rodrigo discuss Austen’s combat with Craig, Austen’s breakup with Audrey, and Craig’s relationship with Charley. Molly, Charley, Salley, and her further e discuss Austen’s combat with Craig, Austen’s breakup with Audrey, and Craig’s relationship with Charley. Shep, Whitner, and Craig discuss, effectively, I don’t know what precisely. Browsing? LIV Golf? Essentially the most comfy beer-resistant boat shoe? Ugh. Boys.
The matters which can be addressed within the automobiles, apart from LIV Golf, are the matters that drive the remainder of the episode. We’ve already talked about Austen and Craig, so subsequent up is Austen’s breakup with Audrey, which, just like the studs on Heated Rivalry, is one thing all of us noticed coming. Austen says one thing was lacking that was no fault of Audrey’s, and that it was one among his hardest breakups, as a result of there’s no beef. The narrative rapidly strikes on to what this implies for Austen and Salley, who’s going thus far a person on this present even when she must ship Rodrigo to conversion remedy. When Austen’s automobile calls Salley’s automobile to gossip, Audrey comes up, and Austen says that he wants to speak to Salley about that. Salley instantly begins fantasizing concerning the dimension of the home they’re going to purchase, making a Pinterest board for his or her wedding ceremony, and selecting out child names. Sorry. Babey names. That is what occurs when Salley sacrifices the three chicks she purchased for Craig to solid a darkish magic love spell.
Anyway, as quickly as Salley hears this potential information, she asks the automobile, “Did Austen and Audrey break up?” They do not know. As quickly as Salley arrives on the farm and sees Venita, who desires to repair their rift, Salley is like, “Yeah, yeah. No matter. Did Austen break up with Audrey as a result of I sacrificed three chicks, I imply … nothing!” Venita says she doesn’t know, which is a wierd fib, as a result of she completely is aware of. Lastly, Madison arrives wanting wider than she does tall, and Salley says, “OMG, your babey! Did Austen break up with Audrey?” Madison lastly tells her “sure,” and Salley has to stand up and alter her bikini bottoms. Madison additionally tells her that Austen mentioned he’s not telling a soul. So Madison goes to say one thing to Salley, the largest gossip within the group? That implies that the information goes to journey sooner than measles in RFK Jr.’s America.
That’s as a result of Salley, as Shep and Craig determine, is an agent of chaos, and thank God for her, as a result of if not for her, then this season can be staler than most of my jokes. Salley can also be concerned within the different story line we should talk about, which is Craig and Charley’s date, which went very effectively, however Salley is making an attempt her greatest to sabotage this relationship. Within the automobile trip to the farm, Salley tells Charley that Shep instructed her that Craig is saying that Charley is already in love with him, and he’s going to harm her as a result of he doesn’t wish to date anybody.
I believe that’s the gist of it, a minimum of. I don’t know. Although we hear it repeated a number of instances, it’s by no means the identical factor twice, and we by no means see footage of Shep truly saying it. That makes me assume that one among two issues occurred. Both Salley made the entire thing up and is making an attempt to torpedo Charley and Craig for jealousy causes, or there was some sort of sport of phone. I can see a world during which Craig was speaking about how recent his breakup from Paige continues to be, how he’s undecided about relationship somebody new as a result of he may not be over it, and if that particular person is extra into him than he’s into that particular person, he would possibly harm them. You possibly can say quite a lot of issues about Craig (and I do!), however of the boys on the present, he appears essentially the most thoughtful to the sentiments of his feminine companions. (Shep would say he’s “not neFARious,” mispronouncing the phrase.) Shep takes this assertion and repeats it to Salley, however he mutilates it a little bit bit as a result of he was desirous about LIV Golf whereas Craig was saying it. Salley then takes that assertion, finds the least beneficiant studying of it, and repeats it again to Charley underneath the guise of making an attempt to be her pal.
If I needed to guess, the second rationalization is essentially the most cheap, however Salley’s motives are driving me a bit wild. She retains telling Charley she’s making an attempt to guard her, in order that she doesn’t get harm by Craig. However how is that this any totally different from what Venita was telling Salley about Craig when she was making an attempt thus far him, and Salley simply ignored it? Sure, Salley has some firsthand relationship expertise with Craig that Venita didn’t have, however each of their messages boil right down to the identical factor. Whereas Charley and Salley are preventing about it on the farm, Craig walks by and, in a spectacular second, says, “That’s okay. Hold speaking about me. That’s advantageous.” Salley additionally tells Charley, “However I do know you, and I do know you’re higher than him.” That’s simply what Venita mentioned! Salley didn’t wish to hear and wished to search out out on her personal. Why can’t she prolong the identical courtesy to Charley now that she’s in the identical place? Possibly Salley’s simply mad that she didn’t take heed to Venita and bought embarrassed, so she’s upset that Charley goes to make the identical mistake? I don’t know. Salley’s messy. However I really like that for us.
After all of the preventing and rounds of hamburgers and scorching canine on the grill, everybody retired to their respective cabins. Rodrigo and Austen usually are not solely sharing a cabin however, based on Rodrigo, a minimum of sharing a mattress. They stroll out of the cabin, virtually hand in hand, and sit within the two Adirondack chairs on a little bit dock searching over an algae-tinged pond. “Welcome to Brokeback Pond,” Austen says, evoking the queer-movie basic for the second time this episode. The 2 sit within the darkening night, their fingers hanging off the arms of the chairs, virtually touching, and Austen thinks about reaching out a finger, testing the waters, seeing what life might be like now that he’s damaged up along with his long-term companion, the one he actually loves, the one he goals about when picturing his future life and sudsing himself up within the bathe. Then that companion walks up, filling out a pair of low-slung denims in a means that needs to be felony. “Hey, can we discuss?” Craig asks Austen whereas gazing his lips and desirous about throwing his complete life away.
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