Southern Attraction
Cabin Fever
Season 11
Episode 11
Editor’s Ranking
2 stars
**
Austen appears to be prioritizing actually anybody else over his friendship with Shep and Craig —and for good purpose.
Picture: Bravo
Hey, and welcome to Miss Patricia’s Pet Cemetery. Right here, you will note a set of plaques for all of her departed pets, most of which have human names, a conference that has plagued the South no less than since Reconstruction. There are Lily and Toby, Ashley and Rhett, Rocky and Nyla. And naturally, my favourite, a cat named Kitty Kelley, presumably after the creator of salacious unauthorized biographies about Jackie Kennedy, Nancy Regan, and Frank Sinatra. (Everybody who is aware of Miss Pat is aware of she nonetheless isn’t over that factor Nancy mentioned about her at a cotillion again in 1977.) Now we’re right here to put our beloved pug, Chauncey, to relaxation. In the event you can, please hold quiet and your photographs to a minimal. We’ll now hear a eulogy from Austen Kroll, who was not a member of Chauncey’s instant household, however they’d so much in widespread, like licking faces, soiling couches, and exceeding folks’s expectations. Over to you, Austen: “He was a sofa hotter, a confidant, a snack stealer, a buddy. And people who knew him knew that what he lacked in mind energy, he actually made up for in spirit.” Thanks, Austen, that was each touching and humorous. That concludes our tour of Miss Patricia’s Pet Cemetery. If you wish to go contained in the Stabin’ Cabin, now we have a particular exhibit on her son Whitney Sudler-Smith’s assortment of uncommon guitars and matchbooks from bordellos world wide. Get pleasure from the remainder of your keep.
Wasn’t {that a} great tour and a becoming goodbye for our expensive Chauncey, which occurred on the finish of the episode. Curiously, it was additionally when the episode ran the tip credit, not throughout the remaining scene the place Madison calls Venita to say that she is giving start to her child the following day. Had been they afraid of placing the second AD’s title subsequent to Madison’s massive announcement? Anyway, the timing makes you marvel, is Madison’s daughter the reincarnation of Chauncey the canine, very similar to Trisha Paytas’s youngster is the reincarnation of Queen Elizabeth? Even when it’s not, it actually makes you consider the cycle of life and demise, how there are at all times folks coming out and in of our lives, type of like one nice massive actuality present.
Actually, these two issues on the very finish of the episode are probably the most attention-grabbing issues to occur in the entire hour, as the one storylines now we have to observe are Austen’s continued annoyance with each Shep and Craig; the love rhombus between Salley, Charley, Craig, and Austen; Venita and Salley being the most effective of frenemies; and why nobody will date Whitner. Okay, the final one is extra of a thriller than a storyline, however we will see. Additionally, why can’t he and Molly simply fall in love and get married and have a ton of Itchy Grass Infants? It’s what the followers need! Do it for us!
As for the difficulty with Austen, Shep, and Craig, we get our first glimmer of it on the massive feast that Whitner’s pleasant mother and father throw. They play a sport at dinner the place there’s a query below everybody’s plates, and so they need to reply, which is seemingly a household custom. The sport is truthfully a little bit of a flop. Has the Slagsvol household by no means heard of the hit celebration sport, “Who Do You Belief Least Round This Desk?” All the time a assured banger. Anyway, when Austen leaves the desk to go to the restroom, Charley tells Craig that he wants to repair their friendship and tells Craig that Austen’s going by way of a breakup. Craig’s eyes bulge out of his head like he’s an additional in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and asks, “What?!?!?!” He’s shocked that he doesn’t know that Austen is damaged up, although neither he nor Shep has made it simple for him to speak to them about it. Charley tells Craig that everybody is aware of, which appears to make it worse.
After dinner, Shep sits Austen right down to have a chat about his relationship as a result of he needs to provide him some recommendation. Madison tells him, as a substitute of scolding Austen about his indecision, that he ought to ask questions and get Austen to open up. Shep, after all, ignores all of this and mainly simply tells him he wants to interrupt up together with his girlfriend. Austen tells Shep he doesn’t need to discuss it. Shep thinks that he’s being evasive, persevering with to keep away from a call. He coaches Austen to be weak. Then Austen tells him that he has been weak, simply not with him. He’s talked all about it to Rodrigo and Madison, a pair that I might belief to resolve actually any downside: girlfriend points, what to put on to a semi-formal occasion, the affordability disaster, tips on how to get Gallery Women again on tv, and the collapse within the bee inhabitants.
It’s not till the following day, when Shep, Austen, and Rodrigo go fishing within the umpteenth cute little shack we’ve seen on Whit’s household farm, that Austen lastly tells Shep that, sure, he did break up with Audrey. After all, neither Shep nor Austen can bait the hook as a result of they hate touching the worm, an issue that my man Rodrigo actually doesn’t have. That man actually can contact a worm. But it surely’s Austen who caught the one fish, prompting Shep to make a joke about “catch and launch,” which then turns into about how Austen at all times talks about releasing his girlfriend however received’t do it. Austen ought to have identified this was coming, that by not answering Shep’s questions on it, he can be hounded. However I additionally get his motivation. Shep and Craig wouldn’t have consoled him or applauded him on lastly making a troublesome determination; it could be a refrain of, “I instructed you so,” and, “Why did you wait so lengthy?” and who needs to listen to that when contemporary off a breakup. It looks like Austen is prioritizing different friendships over these two clowns, who’re about pretty much as good at giving relationship recommendation as Diane Warren is at profitable Oscars.
On to the love-rhombus! Issues are going effectively for Charley and Craig, who had a cute date out in a canoe whereas everybody else traveled across the farm and fought about their friendships. Salley and her further E nonetheless aren’t fairly over Craig, however she’s actually making an attempt exhausting to get below Austen. At dinner, Austen tells a narrative about stripping bare in a bar as a 20-something and she will be able to’t assist however interject that she needs to see him bare. When he will get up from the desk at dinner to go pee, she asks him, “Do you want any assist?” Lastly, Austen has to say, “Down lady,” as a result of, like loving cupcakes, it’s so apparent as to be annoying. And even nonetheless, Salley is like, “I need Austen’s dick.” Sure. We get it.
Salley has so much occurring with Venita although, which, truthfully, is a battle I don’t perceive. They’ve a chat in Whitner’s pool home with Molly and Whitner as witnesses, and Salley remains to be pissed that Venita tried to start out shit between Molly and Salley. I don’t know guys. It looks like Salley is simply salty that Venita was proper about Craig and is holding onto this slight for ammunition. Venita already apologized to Molly about speaking about her vagina prettying surgical procedure (that’s the medical time period) and Molly has accepted that apology. Venita apologizes once more right here, however it looks like Salley is willfully selecting to not recover from this to be mad at Venita.
That’s to not say that Venita behaved effectively on this dialogue. When making an attempt to clarify herself, Venita tries to indicate the distinction between herself and Salley and Whitner inserts himself into the dialog and says, “Why is that an vital distinction?” Venita turns nasty on the drop of one of many dopey hats that both Austen or Shep was carrying on the celebration the evening earlier than. She tells Whitner to “shut the fuck up,” and he has nothing to do with this. Whitner factors out that he was simply making an attempt to defend Molly, who he’s clearly in love with and may marry. (I’m not giving up on this till it occurs. Sorry.) It was an outsized response from Venita who ought to have both welcomed Whitner into the dialog, ignored his remark, or discovered a nicer technique to inform him to butt out.
Nevertheless, Salley then says that Venita was making an attempt to “pin” her and Molly towards one another, which isn’t the time period, after which Venita will get teary and storms off. Salley calls after her, saying that Venita is at all times strolling away, and he or she’s proper. Venita wants to remain and end one among these conversations. She must get snotty and snarly and cry-y and let all the feelings out on Salley if not just for her personal catharsis but additionally in order that they (and us) can transfer on from the battle. However she doesn’t. Venita, in her Daisy Dukes, walks off into the itchy grass, hoping that her issues received’t observe her. However that’s the factor, they at all times do. Even if you escape the confrontation, even if you put these robust discussions off till the following day, as Austen did, they’ll at all times be there ready, with their snarled heads and their rotted enamel simply getting worse and uglier by the day.
Join the Housewives Institute Bulletin
Dame Brian Moylan breaks down all of the gossip and drama, on- and off-screen, for devoted college students of the Actuality Tv Arts and Sciences.
Vox Media, LLC Phrases and Privateness Discover