Illustration: Marylu Herrera
This week, a PR rep for influencers sleeps with a hard-to-read neurologist whose cats she cuddles within the morning: 30, single, NYC
DAY ONE
9 a.m. Strolling to C&B, my espresso store since I moved to the East Village a decade in the past. I’m associates with the barista, who was the bouncer at Joyface.
11 a.m. On a name a couple of shopper’s content material technique whereas they movie a TV present. I not too long ago bought employed as a expertise supervisor at a boutique company. My profession is the a part of my life I’m most positive about. I’m virtually 31, and after one critical post-college relationship, I spent my 20s relationship … most likely tons of of males.
1:30 p.m. Meet my pal Isaac for espresso at Abraço. I’ve thought-about having a crush on him: He’s single, listener, good-looking, and Jewish. However he’s a comic, which matches in opposition to my “no comedians” and wider “no business” insurance policies. Nonetheless, possibly the very best relationships begin as friendships.
Isaac tells me a couple of date he’s occurring later. I push the crush concept apart.
2:30 p.m. We stroll round and determine we’re hungry. We select the nicer Vietnamese spot on Rivington as an alternative of our typical hole-in-the-wall. I inform Isaac I’ve a date tonight, too. He’s not Jewish and his Hinge pics aren’t nice — a bit of shlubby. However he’s nonetheless possibly scorching as a result of he’s a neurologist. I texted him first about the place to satisfy. He despatched the identify of a bar and pictures of his two cats, Rémy (sure, with an accent) and Louie, with their arms round one another.
7:30 p.m. Preparing for dates is a big a part of my life.
8 p.m. This East Village tiki bar appears like a trendier Rainforest Café. The neurologist and I cut up a seaweed-infused martini — the Riptide — and a piña colada with a rum floater. We giggle in regards to the décor, which features a large geyser, and that one in all our drinks comes with a tiny straw hat. We use it as a finger puppet. He asks the waitress for a pen and attracts a bit of smiley face on my pointer.
The piña colada kicks in. I really feel an urge to inform him about my mother, who noticed neurologists due to a uncommon mind illness. I checklist her signs and ask him to guess what she was recognized with and what she died of. He asks if it was Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s — neither. He says his mother is about to be in hospice, with most cancers. For some motive, that is the first-date matter we join over.
We pivot again to guffawing, which continues for the complete evening. No what number of siblings do you will have? questions. There’s a robust bodily connection, and we maintain eye contact a bit of too lengthy.
9 p.m. We’re exterior making out. Bop to McSorley’s for a pint, then to a bar I’ve walked by 1,000,000 occasions. Seems it’s referred to as Burp Citadel and is medieval themed. Each music sounds just like the Sport of Thrones soundtrack, and also you’re solely allowed to whisper or the bartender shushes you. We’re sitting on the bar, kissing and getting sensitive.
10:30 p.m. He walks me house. I insist we cease at my bodega to select up some soup to heat us up. I get hen noodle; he will get kimchi. As we stroll, we crack up over the bodega soup, which is sweet, and cut up a black-and-white cookie down the center. He drops me off exterior my graffiti-covered residence constructing, which appears like Jennifer Aniston’s place in Alongside Got here Polly (the rom-com the place she has a pet ferret and Ben Stiller has IBS). We kiss good evening.
DAY TWO
8 a.m. Textual content my shopper congratulations for hitting a serious milestone — 100,000 on IG! — that we’ve labored towards for months.
1 p.m. Espresso with my pal, an assistant at an enormous three-letter expertise company. Order a croissant and keep away from taking a look at my telephone, which is face down on the desk. My intestine says final evening might have been too sexually charged for a primary date and possibly I revealed an excessive amount of as we talked about our mothers. My coronary heart lurches.
3 p.m. On a name a couple of model deal. I deliberately didn’t add the neurologist to my contacts, so when an Equinox gross sales rep texts me to rejoin with no initiation payment, I gasp then sigh as soon as I understand it isn’t him.
7 p.m. The neurologist asks me out for Thursday! I haven’t stopped interested by his blue eyes and the way his lengthy hair felt dry and crunchy once I ran my arms by means of it.
10 p.m. In mattress. Scrolling Instagram partly to search for new purchasers, however principally as a result of it feels good. Besides once I get relationship content material like, “There aren’t any good males in Manhattan,” or no matter. Distress loves firm, and, boy, does Instagram make me really feel like shit.
DAY THREE
9 a.m. Forgot my roommate and pal Isabel’s birthday for the second 12 months in a row. I didn’t say something this morning, and I really feel horrible. Run round C.O. Bigelow in search of one of many tortoise hair clips she likes.
Midday Name Isabel, want her a cheerful birthday, and apologize. She’s visiting our hometown half-hour exterior of town. I supply to take the prepare to purchase her drinks. She says she’d love that!
5 p.m. Gown up and get on Metro-North. Isabel’s mother makes us empanadas earlier than we exit. Her mother asks if I’ve a boyfriend. I want. I’m pissed off that I’m making an attempt so laborious but it hasn’t occurred.
9 p.m. We determine to return to town. Take the subway to Montero, my favourite dive bar, which hosts karaoke within the again. Sing “Like a Prayer” off a Dell laptop computer monitor. Isabel, already drunk, takes another vodka shot and instantly runs to the lavatory to throw up. We go house.
DAY FOUR
8 a.m. Isabel and I FaceTime from our bedrooms, whining that we’re hungover and hungry. Go to Apollo Bagels as a result of I’ve been telling her to strive it.
9 a.m. Laughing about final evening. Inform Isabel I met my sister’s boyfriend not too long ago. At first, I resented her for bringing him to the vacations as a result of I’d be the one single one. Then they stayed with me over the weekend, and I liked him. He’s good for her: outdoorsy, athletic, nerdy. They’ll most likely get married.
Isabel agrees Apollo might make the very best bagels in NYC. I inform her it’s as a result of they’re sourdough.
10 a.m. House to nap.
1 p.m. Take my Vyvanse. Isaac and I see Marty Supreme.
3 p.m. Loooved the film. Odessa is nice. And he or she’s Tallulah in I Love LA — like, is that my life? (Bear in mind, I handle creators.) Drank a mega Weight loss program Coke, so I actually need to pee.
5 p.m. Neurologist texts: omakase at 7:30. Butterflies. With no time to spare, Isabel and I am going to Flatiron to purchase a V-cut bodysuit with shoulder pads — all of my bras make my boobs look droopy and I would like a bit of oomph. Plus the whole lot is on sale.
7:30 p.m. My coronary heart is pounding, however I’m not that jazzed on the meals. I don’t eat uncooked fish exterior of lox and spicy crunchy salmon rolls. Neurologist orders the deluxe omakase and provides a “Viagra Shooter,” a seafood something-or-other that I don’t strive. Foreshadowing? Regardless of myself, I eat oysters. We joke about how I’m avoiding the uni. He asks if I wish to be with somebody who “pushes me.” I’m like, What sort of query is that?, however say, “In fact.”
This time, we ask first-date questions: My dad is 76, and I’ve a 27-year-old sister and a 4-year-old brother. I inform him about beginning my firm in the course of the pandemic, producing outside reveals with well-known comedians, and turning it into my full-time job. He says he’s by no means met anybody “with my story.”
8 p.m. Akon is on, which we are saying can be a dream live performance, and we uncover we each solely take heed to throwbacks. He says he loves my bob — it’s extra of an overgrown lob — and that he loves something that ends in “-ob.”
Out of nowhere, he tells me he isn’t “love bombing” me. In fact, I ask, “Have you ever been accused of affection bombing earlier than?” He says “sure.” I inform him it’s most likely as a result of, like me, he wears his coronary heart on his sleeve and will get weak shortly, which will be misconstrued. He “utterly” agrees.
9 p.m. The server brings the iPad over. I glimpse the invoice. It’s $500, and he ideas 20 p.c. I can’t consider a physician is courting me like this.
Dave & Buster’s got here up earlier, and we joked about how I “all the time wished to go.” Now, he calls an Uber XL Black and we’re off, even if it’s $86 to Instances Sq.. We’re making out within the automobile. Together with his hand beneath my shirt, he says, “You’re going to harm my 4.9 ranking.”
9:10 p.m. “Really, we will go to Dave & Buster’s, or you may come meet the cats.”
9:20 p.m. In his Murray Hill two-bedroom, two-bathroom nook residence. One bed room is only for the litter field. He makes me an XL martini with kalamata olives. In his bed room, the onesie comes off. I inform him we’re not going to have intercourse as a result of I’ve my interval. He says that’s okay, then reveals me he has a field of assorted-size tampons, which strikes me as … complicated?
11 p.m. After dry humping, I cave. The intercourse is completely consensual, however I can’t get into it. After, he desires me to remain the evening. I hate sleeping over too early, however I’m drained, so I do.
DAY FIVE
6 a.m. Get up with drool on his pillow, and, if I’m being trustworthy, his arm. His telephone mild glares onto his face. He’s actually taking a look at footage of brains.
He places on scrubs and tells me to sleep in. He says Rémy (the orange cat) slept at my toes all evening and wishes a “maternal determine.” I grew up with cats, and this man has not one however two? I image myself residing with them right here.
7 a.m. Give Rémy one final pet and depart for over-easy eggs and hash browns on the bizarre diner downstairs. I don’t have any contacts in and get nauseous within the taxi house.
11 a.m. My pal Kristen calls after I texted her earlier saying, “I simply left the neurologist’s. We have to debrief.” She’s relieved it was a date — she freaked out pondering I’d had an aneurysm. I say, “It wasn’t like we slept collectively on the primary date,” however it might have been an excessive amount of, too quickly.
5:30 p.m. Dinner with a shopper about “big-picture targets” for 2026.
8:30 p.m. An outdated co-worker lists me for Robyn at Brooklyn Paramount. The neurologist hasn’t texted, however he’d talked about he has 24-hour ICU shifts on Saturdays that make him “emo.”
11 p.m. Dance to “Name Your Girlfriend” and “Dancing on My Personal.” Robyn closes with “Indestructible,” like, C’MON — each music is ideal! This appears like the correct soundtrack to my second, the place I meet my husband within the first month of 2026.
DAY SIX
10 a.m. Play music whereas I putz round.
Midday Scrolling Instagram in mattress. My telephone is on “Do Not Disturb,” an excuse to maintain checking my messages. I informed my group chat the entire story yesterday. They stated, “I noticed you on ‘Discover My Associates’ this morning in Kips Bay” and “I may see you with a physician.” I stated I used to be excited to satisfy a man like him as a result of “I simply wish to be taken care of.” Attempt to not think about telling them he ghosted.
4 p.m. Ask a well-known actor-comedian pal for tickets to his new Broadway present. His home seats can be found, so I prepare for a pleasant evening out with my finest pal, Kendall.
7 p.m. In our seats, I inform Kendall in regards to the neurologist. She and I are the final two single ladies in our pal group, and he or she simply will get it. She’s like, you by no means know! He’s most likely sleeping after his 24-hour shift.
9 p.m. The comic stated to hold round after the present, so we meet him on the aspect stage. Kendall performs it cool, however freaks out after about how I “simply casually know him.” Kendall has witnessed me get fired, laid off, and, now, work with actually large expertise. “I’m so happy with you,” she says.
1 a.m. Get up. Anxiously examine my telephone. Nothing.
DAY SEVEN
10 a.m. Take the L to Williamsburg for yoga. I would like endorphins, or dopamine, or no matter.
1 p.m. Stroll by means of the Tompkins farmers’ market — something to distract me from him not texting. Choose up my prescriptions (a traditional NYC cocktail; use your creativeness) from CVS.
1:30 p.m. My financial institution texts that my account is adverse $50. No less than lease and my HingeX subscription are paid for.
4 p.m. Name Kristen, then two different associates, as a result of I’m involved he’s ghosting. All of them give related, discouraging recommendation, saying he seems like a schmuck and isn’t price my time if he hasn’t adopted up post-sex. Spiraling.
7 p.m. Determined, I sort the story into ChatGPT. It says, “If a person is genuinely , a single textual content from you wouldn’t damage.” My intestine says to not textual content first, but when Chat says it’s high-quality …?
7:30 p.m. Take a bit of child piece of Xanax.
8 p.m. After deciding what to ship with Kendall, I land on, “Paging Dr. _____.”
9 p.m. Scroll IG and go to sleep, due to the Xanax.
1 a.m. Get up and flip over my telephone. A response! Humorous — I’d simply dreamed he was “soooo sorry” he hadn’t reached out, and “the ICU actually makes me emo.”
I learn what he actually stated. “Web page accepted. How are you?” It appears like shit, as if the entire thing by no means occurred.
2 a.m. I don’t write again. I believe I’ll get my very own cat.
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